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Grrr.. Daddy Hulk SMASH!  
05:07pm 13/12/2016
 
 
Syona aka the Silicon Shaman
I am so fucking beyond pissed off right now!

My daughter has just come home, very seriously upset after seeing a doctor. She is trying to have her ovaries removed, because as she puts it, she doesn't want them, will not ever have a child, and they are causing her emotional as well as physical pain every month [periods from hell etc]. She's been like this since she was 14, and has expressed the desire for surgery since 16. She's 27 now, it's not a whim.

So, the doctors reaction to learn she was asexual... she must have depression as the result of some underlying psychological problem, and prescribed antidepressants [to a person who has a medical history of not reacting well to them.]

Yeah. that just happened. The doctor essentially said her sexual preference was a medical problem...and no, they wouldn't allow her to do the one thing would definitively cure her hormonal imbalance and wanting to do so was, according to them, self-harming and she had to go into counselling.ing

And then, the turd on the shit cake.. I called to complain..and got told that there was nothing they could do because the practice manger had gone home for the day and any complaint had to be submitted in writing. The person at the other end of the phone literally would not even take a note, put me on hold for ten minutes so she could check the complaints procedure, and then stammered her way through telling me that there was nothing she would do...all without even a hint of an apology or even understanding why they needed to.

I am SO done with that practice. Thankfully, unlike dentists, there are other options locally. And now I think I know why. They don't even have an online complaints procedure.

I So wish I had access to an orbital kinetic energy weapon. SMITE!!

Crossposted from: http://siliconshaman.dreamwidth.org/1230380.html comment count unavailablecomments so far over there.
mood: furiousfurious
 
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(no subject)
 mycroftca
 
08:48pm 13/12/2016 (UTC)
 
 
Bill Paley
As with sex change operations, and in some places life termination procedures, I think that psychological counseling is a required prerequisite for any surgical intervention. Medications, however, are not. I can certainly see why their irritating complaint procedures added fuel to the fire.

Don't be shocked if she's asked to be seen by a psychologist or psychiatrist; this is likely to be simply confirmation of the validity of her desire to be rid of this issue. It would be a medico-legal protection for the practitioners.

Edited at 2016-12-13 08:48 pm (UTC)
 
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 acelightning
 
09:41am 14/12/2016 (UTC)
 
 
Ace Lightning: feminism
If I were in her position, I'd say to the doctor, "Just whose ovaries are we talking about, anyway?" - especially to a male doctor!
IconoGraphic feminism
 
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(no subject)
 trickykitty
 
02:44pm 14/12/2016 (UTC)
 
 
Nicole
I'm so sorry. That's truly a ridiculous situation.

I'm glad there's other doctors in your area. Hopefully the next one she visits will understand and agree.
 
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(no subject)
 layo
 
07:27pm 14/12/2016 (UTC)
 
 
Layo
How would anti-depressants make you less asexual? It doesn't even make sense. Women say they get prescribed anti-depressants instead of treated for their real medical problems all the time though. It's basically code for, "go away, you're not sick you're crazy." The real irony is that unnecessary hysterectomies used to be what doctors gave women they thought were crazy. We've come full circle!

Is she going to do hormone replacement therapy or anything? Estrogen is supposed to be good for your bones (I only know that because my sister-in-law had breast cancer, and they gave her estrogen blockers for it but checked her bone density first).

I still don't see why they care that she's asexual. If I wanted to have a sex drive I'd take testosterone, not anti-depressants, though. But if you're not missing it, why would you want one.
 
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Thoughts
 ysabetwordsmith
 
09:59am 15/12/2016 (UTC)
 
 
Elizabeth Barrette
>> She is trying to have her ovaries removed, because as she puts it, she doesn't want them, will not ever have a child, and they are causing her emotional as well as physical pain every month <<

Forget trying to get help out of normal people. They will abuse her. Obviously it is malpractice to leave a patient in pain when the problem is perfectly fixable, but most people don't care about women, so. Other routing is necessary.

Look up the surgeons who take care of transfolk. They are much more respectful of "it's your body, you can do what you want with it." Emphasize the physical pain as much as possible, with attention to work-loss days and other documentable problems. State that it is malpractice to leave a person in pain when the problem is treatable. I gather she doesn't want meds or they don't work. State why, e.g. negative side effects. It may also be useful to check dysmenorrhea (technical term for your girl parts make you want to die once a month) support groups and request referrals for surgeons willing to help.

>>So, the doctors reaction to learn she was asexual... she must have depression as the result of some underlying psychological problem, and prescribed antidepressants [to a person who has a medical history of not reacting well to them.]<<

Fire doctor and replace. If unable to fire, never tell anything again that is avoidable. In general, do not disclose any disadvantaged trait unless absolutely necessary, especially to people who can hurt you. They often will. What you keep to yourself may still hurt you, but cannot be used against you. Of course, there's nothing wrong with being ace and childfree, but people are assholes.

Spread doctor's name among ace and/or childfree support groups. Crucify on internet. This is likely a more effective retribution than filing a complaint or lawsuit, as the people hearing it will actually have fucks to give.

Also, have a karma ... Nagaina? ... to send his way. Well, that just happened. I put in a request for a karma tribble and got a lady cobra hissing "The Female of the Species." You may perhaps wish to stay away from that fellow a while.

>>I called to complain..and got told that there was nothing they could do because the practice manger had gone home for the day and any complaint had to be submitted in writing.<<

It's worth trying again to get the complaint form. However, go above: find out where he got his license and complain to people who could revoke it. Emphasize leaving a patient in pain, when effective treatment is available; amount of disability from pain; prescribing drugs in a category known to be contraindicated; and verbal abuse including mockery of a sexual orientation. This is unlikely to solve your current problem, but if enough such complaints pile up, the board may terminate his license due to embarrassment and/or fear of lawsuit.
 
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Re: Thoughts
 siliconshaman
 
10:07am 15/12/2016 (UTC)
 
 
Syona aka the Silicon Shaman
Minor correction. Female doctor.. youngish. Indian. [I think I see why the Nagaina]. Attitude more probably a result of culture than general misogyny.

and yeah.. the rest is do-able or even done. Daughter is [or will be] transferring to a different practice. [there are advantages to living at the mid-point between two towns.]
 
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Re: Thoughts
 ysabetwordsmith
 
10:47am 15/12/2016 (UTC)
 
 
Elizabeth Barrette
>>Minor correction. Female doctor.. youngish. Indian. [I think I see why the Nagaina]. Attitude more probably a result of culture than general misogyny. <<

*shiver* The things I don't know, that turn out to synchronize anyway. I should perhaps hope that Kali does not decide to handle this personally, as she is much less precise than a cobra.

Please extend my sympathies for the rest. My female parts only occasionally try to claw their way out, but it's enough that I've been able to write descriptions of more serious complaints that make my trait-having readers give it a vote of confidence. And I have complete sympathy for victims of malpractice via no fucks given. >_
 
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Re: Thoughts
 siliconshaman
 
10:57am 15/12/2016 (UTC)
 
 
Syona aka the Silicon Shaman
Yeah.. Kali is pretty much the definition of 'nuclear option'.
 
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Re: Thoughts
 ysabetwordsmith
 
10:59am 15/12/2016 (UTC)
 
 
Elizabeth Barrette
She likes to watch me dance. Perhaps it is because, though I am not precisely Kalidasa, I am given to respond to the end of the world by dancing naked around a bonfire.
 
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Re: Thoughts
 siliconshaman
 
11:11am 15/12/2016 (UTC)
 
 
Syona aka the Silicon Shaman
Need a drummer? Because in case you hadn't noticed, while the world isn't precisely burning yet, the bonfire is built.
 
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Re: Thoughts
 ysabetwordsmith
 
11:19am 15/12/2016 (UTC)
 
 
Elizabeth Barrette
If we're ever together at the end of a world, I'd be happy to have your drum in my dance.
 
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(no subject)
 anigo
 
01:35pm 15/12/2016 (UTC)
 
 
but I digress...
Unfortunately I have nothing to offer that the others haven't yet, except hugs and crazy head shaking.

xx
 
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